You cannot beat a stick

My children have some great toys so I feel a mixture of delight and slight irritation when they abandon them all for sticks.

No trip to a woodland, romp round a stately home, or quick pee in a layby is complete for my children without harvesting a stick. Gun-shaped sticks are among the most prized, although fights regularly break out over a good “staff”.

I am totally without scruples when it comes to disposing of them – however a 2 minute run round my house revealed the booty shown in the photograph. Yes. The sticks are winning.

You cannot beat a stick

Toy companies are pretty sly,

Their flashy ads are slick,

But still they cannot fathom why,

They CANNOT beat a stick.

My children, see, aren’t satisfied,

With toys and games and books,

No, at our house, a stick resides,

In every single nook.

I try to sneak them out (before

my house becomes a forest),

For each one “lost”, in come two more…

I’m losing, let’s be honest.

And if I earned just 50p,

Each time, in irritation,

I yelled “don’t wave that stick at me!”

I’d own a stick plantation.

See, we see dirty sticks (such fools!)

But kids see wands and guns,

And swords, and staffs, and digging tools –

Is ANYTHING more fun?

So time to ditch the Disney, mums –

We’ve really missed a trick,

Remember this when Santa comes:

You cannot beat a stick!

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You cannot beat a stick

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